image courtesy of: blogs.nature.com

The Stories of Our Lives:

Every day of our lives we are creating a story, a tale that we tell at parties or other social events; a tale that we tell in our posture, our mannerisms and our speech even. Yet even though we think about our stories often, very rarely do we sit down and craft how we tell those stories so that we portray the message that we want to with them. Most of the time our stories are off our cuff, or merely a retelling of how we remember the events. Only with time and effort can we turn those stories into something compelling, something that works to move the people that we tell them to. Today I wanted to look at the three stories that a person needs when they are speaking with a prospect. These three stories, when properly crafted, can be the difference between getting a rejection and having someone join you on your journey.

The first story is the one that set us off on this venture, whatever it may be for us. By this time, we should have sat down and thought long and hard about the Why of our journey, the reason that we are walking such a strange and difficult path. Yet we have not taken the time to craft this reason into a story that we can convey to the people that we talk to. When we take that time, we turn this story from something to works to motivate us and propel us forward during the hard times, into an emotional catalyst for the person that we are talking to. It creates emotional responses and dredges up those feelings of camaraderie and connection that all humans crave. With a finely crafted Why story, we build the emotional connection with the person that we are talking to that allows them to trust and move with their emotion instead of actively working to negate their emotions as we are commonly taught to do.  This is an amazing experience, when you are actually being authentic and real with someone instead of either of you hiding behind the ideas of logic that we use to shield ourselves from those connections to other people.

The second vital story in our process is the Results Story. This is the story of how your life has changed since you started on this journey. This story gives the person we are talking to a measuring stick on how their life might change if they join us on our journey. This is the story that needs the most crafting usually and the reason for that is that most people in our world downplay the changes in their life. Change is scary to people and having dramatic change in our lives is a source of fear for those around us. It is the reason that many people will try to tear you down as you embark on this journey, a simple fear of things changing. So what we need to do with the Results story is find those things in our lives that have changed and then take the time to really see how much change has occurred and to frame that change in an exciting and enticing way.

Finally, we need the Big Event Story. This story is one about some major event that we attended in connection to our new path that changed us, or forces us outside our comfort zone in one way or another. This story can take many forms, from the joy and excitement the event created in you, or the struggle and hardship you overcame to get to that event. The simple truth is that there are very few people in this world that can succeed without the support and comfort of those on the same path and the events are the single most inspiring connection that we can make to others already on the path. Telling the person you are talking to about how these event move and change you will be an inspiration for them to attend them as well. This gives them two valuable things. The excitement of creating their own story, and the emotional drive and boost that they will need to attend the events and to keep pushing forward along the path instead of becoming another person stuck at the side of the road.

The stories that we tell can either work to our advantage in life, or they can work to blend us into the background. It is only a matter of taking the time to craft those stories to turn them into tools for us and our growth in our journey. Crafting our stories also allows us to have an impact on other people’s lives, to infuse them with wonder, joy, and excitement rather than the normal fear that change often creates. These stories are our bridges to other people, the structures that allow us to create something amazing with those around us.

What is your story and how are you going to craft it so that it moves people rather than being a momentary, meaningless passage of time in their lives?